It is hard to say no to people. For most of my professional life, I’ve had a job where telling someone no is a regular part of my responsibilities. After years of doing it, sometimes multiple times daily, it never got easier.
I was thinking about this while reading Matthew 15:21-28: And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.” But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
As I was reading this I was struck by the thought that it seems like Jesus is trying to talk himself out of helping this woman. He won’t answer her. When his disciples beg him to send her away, he assures them he is only there for Israel. But he doesn’t leave and he doesn’t send her away. Why not? Instead, he lets her keep talking and he continues to listen to her. Finally, he begins to speak with her and it isn’t long before he not only gives in; he praises her faith.
It seems like Jesus wants to tell her no–but he can’t. He can’t say no.
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